Decency

I was out with Crystal last night, heading over to Laura's house to drop me off to watch their cats for a few days.  Crystal was getting really mad about other drivers doing stuff she thought was stupid.  Being generally inconsiderate in their maneuvers to people who wanted to go fast.  She lamented how people suck at being good at things.  I said that it's hard to be good at things.  She said, "No, it's not."  She lamented that they also suck at being decent.  I said it's hard to be decent.  She said, "No, it's not."  There was what seemed to me a real sadness in her voice.

Thinking about systems and incentives, I said that there are all sorts of incentives to not be decent.  If you had no scruples, you could have a bazillion dollars like Mark Zuckerberg.

In retrospect, I think I was missing the point.  For most people, to behave decently is a choice, and we struggle against temptations to be selfish.

For Crystal, I think she sometimes wishes she could be more selfish, but for her, decency isn't a choice.  She does the decent thing, and there was nothing else she could have done.  It's a compulsion.  It's why I think it's so frustrating for her that other people sometimes don't.  She has great empathy, but I think it's difficult for her to relate here.

I love her.

She'll also do things like box out people who are trying to cut other people off in her own mini crusades against injustice, which I think is also a compulsion.

I love her so much.