Loss

Note: I referenced this in this post, after Crystal's dad died: GHOST_URL/happiness/

In the past few weeks, we lost Crystal's cat of around 18 years, and her father.

Both were cases where it was a long time coming. Crystal got her second cat when she was scared her first cat was about to die, because of something a vet said about her kidneys, I think, around 8 years ago. Her father had been told by doctors that he was dying since he was like 34, around 26 years ago. Over and over, they'd give him some amount of time to live, and he proved them wrong every single time. Ultimately, he was rejected for a heart transplant, and died from complications after an LVAD installation surgery.

I make no secret of the disdain I have for my blood father. He was a drunk, and beat his wife and daughters. There were a lot of nights as a child I couldn't tell if I was finally watching my mother being murdered. I'll forgive anyone for anything if they show real remorse, but any time he'd apologize for what he did, he'd say some hateful, mysoginistic crap in the same breath. He was a negative role model for me, and I learned a lot of lessons about who I didn't want to be.

In the years since my family walked out on my father, I've had a few people who have taken me under their wings, and shown me what I'd missed. Fathers with their own families, with no responsibility for me, who took me in, and made me part of their families, with open, loving arms.

I wasn't born into money, status, or even a happy home. I'm not particularly tall. I don't think I'm particularly good looking. I understand the huge advantages of being born in the US, of able body and mind, but I don't think I'm someone you'd generally think of as lucky. But when I think of the family I've retained, the people I've met and the kindnesses I've received, I can't imagine anyone being any luckier.