Martial Arts

originally written 3/20/2014

I am, generally speaking, a pacifist. The caveat is, if real violence is initiated against me, or someone I feel compelled to protect, I won't think twice about killing the aggressor.

I became interested in martial arts, partially because of its prominence in media in my youth, and largely because I grew up with an abusive father, and saw violence on a regular basis. I was angry, and I thought someday, I might have to kill my father before he killed me or someone else in my family.

I think the biggest takeaway from studying martial arts is that you get a good appreciation for how fragile people are. It's really not that difficult to kill someone, even with your bare hands, and no matter how hard you train, you're never going to be good enough that you can't be killed by some idiot with some dumb luck.

Incidentally, when you frame your thought that way, there's a whole set of considerations about what's fair and what's dirty that just goes out the window. I won't hesitate to gouge out someone's eyes, or incessantly strike their groin, or break their fingers if they try to grab me. I'll snap joints, break bones, pull a knife, throw dirt, improvise weapons, you name it. If you're thinking about whether you're fighting dirty or not, you didn't need to be fighting.

When you really understand fragility, you understand that the only way to win is not to play. The best skill to practice is the avoidance of conflict. It means being a nicer than normal person. It means reading deeper into people's motivations, and knowing how to navigate around them as you pursue your own interests. It means being considerate, and compassionate. Sometimes it means swallowing your pride and backing down. Sometimes it means running away.

When you look at martial arts as a tool for the preservation of your life, or the lives of others, winning fights isn't a metric of success. Every fight you get into is a failure, regardless of the outcome. You can win a fight soundly, without a scratch on you, but it still breeds resentment. Every fight you win paints a target on your back. The next fight might be against two people. Might be more. Might just be one person with a gun.

To be clear, I think your martial arts failure happens before you throw your first punch, and even before your attacker throws their first punch that initiates the fight. It happens as soon as you've inspired someone to attack you.

As a corollary, I think the highest form of martial arts is to inspire others to be better, not just to you, but to everyone.